No
one is willing to be told how or what to do, by someone they know has
no knowledge of the challenges, tasks, or abilities of the one being
told. And it makes the circumstances doubly ugly, when the leader has
no compassion or patience to ask or learn what those challenges,
tasks, or abilities are. Wise business leaders continually seek ideas
and suggestions from those they lead. This is profoundly true in the
home also. When teens see parents listening and leading like this, it
cultivates an ongoing harmony that Satan's efforts are no match for.
How can this take place?
Youth,
especially teens, are leaving churches in droves, never to return,
because the church treats their awkward lifestyle as a leprous
contagious disease that should be quarantined away from the group.
It's odd those churches haven't given any serious thought about who
the church's future leaders will be or where they will acquire their
spirituality, and God-pleasing manner of living.
The
Leading From Behind Quartet is simply:
Listening,
Learning, Loving, and Leading. (Always in that order)
Caution:
It's important for the teen to know, up-front, that you know how to
keep private things private; that the only one you'll discuss these
things with, is God, in your daily prayer for them. Be super careful
your actions and friendships are actively, or passively chaperoned.
Further cautions are available by searching on-line.
Listening
– As silver-top senior mentors, we must be continually tuned to
God's will for us, and also how we are to reach out to teens. Also,
we need to deeply listen to the youth, when they just want to
'hang-out' with someone... someone they can just bounce their ideas
off of. Fully listening without stacking up rules and quick replies,
is a powerful skill that should be practiced on your knees first.
Learning
– We can gain great rapport with the teen by making it clear we
don't know a lot about the teen world, and we depend greatly on their
insight to the challenges, their hurts, hopes, and heartaches.
Putting them in a teacher role; your teacher, begins building their
self-esteem right from the beginning of your mentoring.
Loving
– This is much of the motivation for your mentoring according
to God's call on your efforts. This can be misunderstood and
misdirected. Psalm 126 ends with a promise of harvest, if sown with
tears. Discuss some do's and don'ts your valuable experience has
already taught you.
Leading
– We all have matured in our study of scripture. We remember
the parables best. Jesus so often, taught 'in the third person'. That
is, rather than delivering His guidelines using pronouns like 'me'
and 'you', with bold pointing fingers, He told stories His listeners
could understand and visualize so well, they had the opportunity to
step into the story and make the truth their own. I once taught
almost all of a Sunday's teen class by just asking questions that led
the thinking of the teens. Practice this technique with other
silver-tops
Laying
it on the line.
Youth
have been driven away, by impatient, uncaring church leaders who have
made wrong, hurtful assumptions about teens. The leaders never ask
God the difference between methods and message.
